What’s in a name ?

Ever wondered how a person might judge you when he or she hears your name but has never met you . Just your name , nothing else . Lets loop over to your perspective of a name . Madonna . Sachin . Zuckerburg . Munni . Sheila . Hari Sadu . Hitler . And so many others . How do you react to a name ?

Lets assume that you move into a new flat and have inquired for a maid who would start off from tomorrow . Your inquiry though , has sufficed you with her name that is Priyanaka Chopra . A perfectly normal name for a person who has no clue who Priyanka Chopra is . But you are not that person , are you . Now you have all kinds little weird thoughts burping in your head . Some fall into the wild side , fantasizing of how the maid might look . Some fall into the discriminating side , as to why on earth a maid have a name like Priyanka Chopra . The question here is , why on earth she shouldn’t ? Chopra is a very common surname while Priyanka an even more common first name . You also might delve into the the idea that she might be a wannabe . Someone who obsesses on that actress , wants to be like her , but could “never make it large” . Tsk Tsk . Now you have three absolutely different characterization of a person you have never met based on her name without even faintly considering the idea that she might have been born way before the actress .

To site another example , you being an Indian , being a Sachin fan , have named your kid Sachin . Nothing wrong in that . There were many Sachins before Sachin Tendulkar learnt how to spell bat . But what happens when your son , Sachin , goes out to bat in a cricket match and gets out on a duck . Again , an Indian kid batting in a cricket match in some street  . Normal , right ? Should be . Must be . But it isn’t . Our subconscious will never accept the fact that , a kid with the name Sachin , got out on duck . ” Sachin , duck ? . How did that happen . Who named the kid that way . What a shame to that name ” . These words might never get blurted out , might , but they do ring in our heads . Imagine what the kid goes through . A very subconscious pinch , agreed , but a pinch nonetheless .

But this is not where the discrimination based on a name ends . Where a person can be discriminated ranging from skin colour to diseases , discrimination based on a name doesn’t really fall far in that dubious Schinder’s list . A South Indian can be easily differenciated(read:recognized) from a North Indian by his or her name . The stereotypes that follow after that can be a subject matter for a gazillion books .

‘What does your name mean?’ . This used to be a question regularly asked when you shifted to a new school or moved to another class . After all these years , when I ask myself what does it mean , I get a blank answer . Yes , I have been ridiculed sometimes for sharing my name with a celebrity . Yes , I never liked my surname . And , yes I would love to given a chance to change it . I never really got the point of naming your kid , so that the name means something . Do they even name a person thinking that it might mean something or half the names are based on a celebrity that they liked or adored ? I am not crying “Plagiarism” here , nor am I fasting to pass a bill for patenting names . I am asking a normal question , do any of us think even twice what the kid might go through for having a name that you would have thought of . I highly doubt that .

One of my college teachers had named his sons electron and proton . No points for guessing he taught us physics . But , electron , really ? . On the other hand , Gneweth Paltrow named her kid Apple . Sounds very exotic now , isn’t it . I bet the tabloids can’t wait for him to grow up to become the i-butt of all  jokes . Micheal Jackson’s daughter’s name is Paris ,  a name which our belvoed Paris Hilton has stated has been inspired from her success . I already feel bad for her . I don’t even know her , but there is this sense of doom of what will paparazzi do if she even manages to get herself a parking ticket .

When I was in IIT Madras , the hostel board that consisted of the room number and the name of the resident in it , had very amusing names . There were names from “13 inch” , “Lap dancer” , ” Nagina “, and what not . There were some funny stories too as to how they got christened to names as such . All of them hated their names when they initially got it , but slowly got used to it and now took pride in it . But those names wont ever get out of that institute . They never had a choice , but to accept the name . Neither does your kid . Even he grows up to accept it . Some respect it . Some loathe it . Some don’t really care . A lot of Sheilas’ never cared until the Sheila song came out . Ask them how much they care now .

 

 

Bangalore traffic : Analysing it by 80/20 rule .

Before I get into my analysis of the traffic situation in Bangalore , which has worsened in an exponential scale since the last 5 years , let me walk you through what a 80/20 rule is . The simplest of definition would be “Vital few, trivial many ” . But to describe the non-linearity of this rule , let me consider an example . Facebook . For a normal user , if facebook provides 100 features , how many do we actually use ? Sharing a post , commenting on another , uploading pics and the foremost – stalking others . But apart from that , unless you have a fan page , your usage of facebook is highly limited . Hardly anyone uses facebook stream , or ads for that matter which are packed with plethora of features themselves . Facebook realized it very soon , when people started doing “+1″ and “@” on comment section and introduced tagging on names in it and also liking others comments . The conclusion that facebook came up here is very similar to an 80-20 rule . That is , 80 % of the users use 20 % of features . The numbers would give various other percentages , but 80-20 being catchy has become the de-facto quality standard . This resulted in them improving those 20% of the features to cater to the 80% of the users . Now that we have a fair idea about what the rule , let us try to put the bangalore traffic problem under its scope and analyze .

The traffic congestion issue in Bangalore is ridiculous , not horrible , but ridiculous . Nobody has a clue as to how garden city has become garbage city . The blame has been laid on the usual suspects – migration , silicon valley , autos , lack of public transport and what not . The number of 2-wheelers and 4-wheelers ( for private usage) that get registered have gone from 100 a day to 10,000 a day (A rough estimate done in 2009  , might be even more now ) . On the other hand , Bangalore has a total number of 8000 autos registered .Buses , even less . Now that we have some rough numbers , its time to dive in .

Let us not consider how many cars are owned by a person per se , but take into account at a certain point of time how many vehicles of various types are on the road . The autos, buses and even bikes always fall into the 20% category . The cars( lets exclude bikes) consitiute the 80 % . This is not the prime reason of Bangalore suffering , though its one of them . The 80 % cars constitute only to 20 % of the population at any point of time , or even less . On an average , you will never find more than 3 persons sitting in a car which was meant for more than 4 persons commuting . But this isn’t where it ends . Bangalore traffic has its peak hours . This means 80% of the traffic is present only 20% of the time . The percentage would obviously fluctuate , but they still converge into one single feeling – Traffucked . Bangalore traffic problem in a nutshell .  Now , let us co-relate .

“He used to come in bike or bus till he became a project manager . Since then , I have never seen him coming in anything else apart from car “, as stated by my ex-roomate about his corporate project manager . The conclusion that you can draw from the above passage is that bulding metros , widening of roads , improving the roads will bring about hardly any change in the present condition of Bangalore . The 80% might shift from busses to a metro train , but they are not the ones who are causing the problem . They are the “trivial many” . The vital few would still buy more cars . The problem would still persist , and to an extent would magnify . But who is at fault here ?
Lets take time as a perspective . The corporate sector has made sure that everyone , every single employee of a particular batch leaves the office at the same time or there about . This results in the suddent inflow of traffic , either in the morning or during evening hours . When a corporate office can easily have a flexible timing , everybody makes sure that each one of their employee , most travelling solo in a car , end up on the same road at the same time . But again , are they at fault ?  The whole city of Bangalore comes to a grinding hault by 10 . For a guy who wants to take his family for an outing has to get out of his office at 6 so that he can reach to a food outlet by 9 , if he is lucky . As ridiculous as the traffic problem is , the time implications make it even worse .

But , there is a solution . London , Budapest and many other european cities have shown how to make cities more sustainable ( USA would give horrible examples , so do not even look there) . Budapest , a city which was a horror for pedestrians a couple of years back , has developed into a cyclist heaven . London  isn’t doing that bad either . Traffic congestion charges , car-free zones and many such other tweaks in the traffic rule book has brought about a significant change in London . Imagine this . Apply a certain congestion charge on a vehicle in Bangalore , around the MG Road area, and see what it does to the traffic problem there . This government should not only respect development but also the repercussions of it .

There are many cycle enthusiasts in the city . And many more can be persuaded to become so . There is Car-pooling mate finder (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llLHtRAUMXE) , a product of the microsfot imagine cup that can be of help . The corporate world can step in with rules which not only force people to leave at different time periods but also put charges if they don’t car pool . Events on cycling , which is a rarity now in Bangalore , can be put forth frequently . And all this can be brought about without the intervention of the government . If the govt. wants , they can step in with various charges , rules and many other intiatives to alievate the traffic issues .

The present condition and outlook though is sad . People have slowly adapted and accepted that they will spend 2 hours on the road which should be less than 20 mins . As they will spend two hours on the road , they would rather be in a car with the AC on , rather than on a bike (Forget public transport here) . The government is even more irrational. The moto should have been: Making Bangalore more pedestrian friendly , not more car friendly . Its an American train of thought , just that the population of America is 1/6th of India ( BIG DIFFERENCE) . The 80/20 imbalance for the time being would remain , and would tilt more towards the self-destruction side rather than self-preservation if not considered immideately .

 

Osama dead . Who comes next ?

Wake up to this joke ” Sadam dead . Osama dead . Justin Beiber …. ” , and didn’t know which reaction deemed apt for this statement . People do bay for blood irrespective of it being of a mass-murderer or of a teenage singing sensation .  Beiber jokes aside , Osama is dead . After 10 years of committing one crime after another , he is dead . No , I am not talking about the crimes committed by Osama but by the same administration who are thumping their chest , oozing out patriotism at his death . Before jumping onto the celebration brigade , lets do some maths . According to surveys , total number of casualties REPORTED in this man hunt that has resulted (directly or indirectly) in USA invading both Iraq and Afganisthan counts upto 1739547 . The word “Reported” has been highlighted for obvious reasons , as the surveys on casualties count is always lesser than the actual number . This survey also is  exclusive of all the so called “prisoners of terror” that are being held captive in various prison cells across the world . Now lets think about the number of casualties that Osama can be directly (or indirectly , just to give him a fair trial in this vicarious court of blood-spill)  be blamed for .  According to this CONGRESSIONAL  survey  , Al Qaeda can be attributed to 6 attacks  . I don’t have to explain why “Congressional” is in bold , as this was the report that was submitted to the media before the attacks . And thanks to Osama’s ” I hate USA ”  videos , he became the poster boy of terrorism .  What USA did to bring down this poster , a task that took close to a decade , is for all to see . But are we seeing it right ? The price that USA and all its counterparts paid , is that even acceptable ?

Do not tell me that invading a country and not expecting retaliation from the terrorists in their country was not on the agenda . It was , and so was the line till which American resources can be spent in this man-hunt . It is quite obvious how terribly they failed to calculate where that line is  . But this was a couple of years back , when almost 3/4 th of the casualties in that survey had been reported , people venting their anger for the loved ones they had lost , media setting up a brilliant cover story as to how all the missions have been utter failures .  How on earth can all of them turn a blind side to all the atrocities committed in the name of “war on terror” just because a leader of a group that had gone defunct or has formed various other active sister groups was REPORTEDLY killed .  How can one death account for all the lives that has been lost in this innocuous path of salvation , for lack of pun .

Now that he is dead , let us look at the speeches that have spilled out from the white (collars) house .  They are thanking the Pakistani troops and the government alike in this pompous victory against terror . Really ? What kind of biased fundamentals are being regressed at White House is a topic to be discussed  another day , but this surely counts as a better joke than the Bieber one . How can a government that has terrorism as its whimsical mistress can be considered a partner against the war of the terror . Americans , going by the divorce rate , should know better that the mistress always gets more preference than the wife . Always . And how exactly do you think a government reeling under economical attacks to react when you serve them with both alms and arms . Thus , this victory must have ensured a dozen more signatures of American diplomats on papers assigning Pakistan with more arms , which will certainly be used in the “war against terror ” . The term “against” much like Quran can be interpreted in any which way Pakistan government deem fit . Oh India , how you wish that Osama was rather found in navi-mumbai than a village in Pakistan . At least that could have brought in some money to get the drainage system fixed , considering the rainy season is upon us .

So now that Osama story is all done and dusted , who comes next ? . Will the US troops retract from Afganistan , or have they found a new country to invade . Being the flag-bearers of anti-terrorism , I should congratulate USA on doing a bang-up job in not allowing any further attacks on its soil . Will all the “prisoners of terror” be released ? . Can a mosque be built near the site where WTC once stood ? Can a Muslim be treated with less suspicion ?  Will USA invade another country that might be sheltering a person with beard who posts ” I hate USA and I shall Bomb every single building in Manhattan ”  next ? The answers to these questions coupled with various conspiracy theories will be the toast of the media-town for the coming months , but Osama dead or alive , USA has shown that if it wants a country to be brought to its knees , it shall be done . It doesn’t matter if the neighbouring country has been sponsoring terrorism since its dawn , nor does it matter if it ends up in the wipe-out of a quarter of its soldiers while achieving that mission . One can infer from  this outcome that no matter how bitter the path was , and no matter how pointless the end result is , all we need is a bit of blood and it all tastes sweet . Ironic , is it ? .

The TV my sister never got .

My parents never really understood what family planning meant . I must be thankful as that is how I managed to have a sister who is 12 years younger than me . But is 12 years that big a time/generation gap that  everything that she imbibes from TV are just bubbles of frustration/melodrama that neither her hormones can take nor mine can tolerate . I remember being dragged to a Tabla class at the age of 5 as I was stuck to the TV every sunday watching Mowgli : a concoction of  fairy-tale ( at that time I used to think it was a true story ) , drama , brilliant animation , and well-drawn out characters that one can relate to . As I grew older , so did the cartoons , not the number of channels . Being from a small town , DD-1 and DD-2 were my only sources of visual entertainment . And they were more than enough .  In a couple of years , DD-2 introduced Super Human Samurai and then Mummies . Very few would remember how good these were . When coupled with shows like Raja Rancho , Karamchand and Alif Laila , TV had become my chicken soup for the pre-teen soul .

Our TV was extremely bulky , compared to the ones we have in our house now , this TV can be considered as an ENIAC machine . But I never complained . TV remotes lasted longer as I didn’t have a huge array of channels to surf on , neither did I suffer from short-attention-span . DD-1 and DD-2 were very particular when to show cartoons , either it was a sunday afternoon or weekday evenings after kids got back from school . Otherwise they were filled with drudgery which made sure I hardly switched on the TV , unless of-course a cricket match was on (How can I miss that ) .  Cable-TV came into existence in our home-town in the late 90′s , and I coaxed my Dad to subscribe it by doing reasonably well in my std-4 final exams . Getting a cable-tv or anything at that point of time always needed some assurance of marks and thankfully I wasn’t that bad . Not yet . And I was thrown into a sea of channels .

The transition from 2 channels showing mundane stuff to 40 odd channels showing varied levels of entertainment through out the day had a hammer-fall effect on me . I would lie if I concede that my studies were not affected at the beginning of this revolution in my life , but I surely got adjusted to it . Its a common trait , at least for the guys , when one buys a new cell phone , he always checks out what default games have been provided by the phone . Similarly , I spent weeks surfing across every channel to figure out which ones show cartoons at what timings . And then Cartoon Network happened .

I was awe-struck by it . At that point of time , I was heavily into comics , from Chacha Chowdhry to Tinkle , from Hulk to Nagraj . I had the whole 9 yards of comic collections kept neatly over book-shelves which were always meant for my syllabus books . Well , shmuck . When there was a school holiday , I would spend the whole day starting from Richie Rich ( I know , a very stupid cartoon ) , to the Centurions . Then Swat Kats . My family used to get together to watch Tom ‘n’ Jerry and that was the only thing on TV that could manage to do that . Dexter’s lab always made me fantasize of how it would be if I had my secret lab in my house . Then the biggest fairy-tale boom happened . X-men , Justice League , Dragon Ballz . I remember our group school naming our-selves as various characters of X-men , discussing about the powers and all that . The moves that Goku and Trunks did in Dragon Ballz , the fusion dance , everything was re-enacted at school with as much seriousness as Goku could have done , and boy , didn’t we enjoy it .

But cartoons weren’t all that filled my TV-schedule with . As much as I was into fairy-tale stuff , my love for Discovery Channel had resurrected so many grey cells . Lonely planet , Junkyard wars in particular . My tryst with classical music had crossed new boundaries , thus keeping me away from channel V or M-tv or any other music channels that ever sprouted then . Neither did I have enough time or patience to sit for a hindi movie . They never excited me . My un-diluted  romance with the TV did end when I passed into std-10 as that was the last time I ever remembered tv-listings and watched a tv-show according to that . Computers were in . Computer games were huge . My time for TV were limited to cricket highlights or an innings of Sachin , a roger federer match , a Man Utd match and WWE . But all this were limited to my availability to the TV and not the other way round .

Fast-forward 8 years from then , every-time I travel home , I look at  my kid sister watching the inexplicable shows that TVs’ now-a-days broadcast . The cartoons are not cartoons anymore . CN has been flooded with Ben-10 . Sadly she was too small to even envisage a Pokemon trip . She never could . The number of channels showing cartoons have hit double digits , the number of channels showing cartoons that one can enjoy have hit a big Null . Something went terribly wrong in the animation world , as one would have thought that with the advancement of technology , the cartoons would have had better animation by now , let alone story . These have neither . And my sister is hooked to it . I feel saddened but this is not what disgusts me . The reality shows do . The TV-soaps do . The Indian-idols , Star Voice of India , Roadies , Spitsvilla , Big Boss , they all do . She is in std 6 now , and none of these shows are meant for her . An age in which she should be into high-end cartoons like The New Batman , X-men evolution , Jackie Chan , she is into the plethora of mind numbing tripe that I shudder to even think of .

M-TV and Channel V have stopped becoming music channels , and have turned into two bald guys and another pierced hippie PMS-ing over another cross-breed of them . Whatever happened to the music that you guys had promised ? Didn’t M stand for Music , maybe not .  Now it strands for Masala and Mayhem . ( I am sorry Mayhem , you are a brilliant band but don’t feel disgusted for me tagging your name with M-tv) . The TV’s  along with the attention span have gone size-zero , if people ever got entertained on fart jokes, there would be a channel dedicated to that someday , and its not my sister’s fault . When she was growing up , she never had me to tell her which ones to watch and which ones to skim out . But others that fly solo . What about them ? New channels to come out . New reality shows that would touch new heights of crass filled with douche-bags just to make that show interesting . Are we preparing our kids to be a participant of one of them or do something better out of their lives . If yes , we need a way out . A better TV , not the one with multiple functions and high-end resolutions , but one which at-least serves it cartoons right . As for me , I have lined up torrents for every single cartoon that I had watched , to make them into a DVD and duly make my kid watch them . Live them . Enjoy them .

Everybody hates Justin Beiber

Before I start with this post  , I would like to state that I am no hilly-billy in musical knowledge . No , its not blowing my own trumpet happening here , its blowing my trumpet at a D major scale so that the people know that I have enough credentials to not only  write a post about the most controversial annals of music but also demand a certain modicum of rationality from any comment that this post might generate , if it ever does . Though, I would not wander around with my musical shoes on , but would give a “lay-man’s” perspective about it .

I am personally  neutral to Justin Beiber’s music .  I neither hate it nor do I like it . But , in recent times I have grown a very strong aversion towards the so called Justin Beiber hate group .Get a life and let that kid make a life of his own , which he is doing in aplomb . I have would like to point out a few things I like about Justin Beiber :

1. He writes his own own songs . He doesn’t compose most of  it , because he is not good at it . There is a reason why he and any other R’n'B artist  have music producers , which is to compose  music , and let the artist stick to writing lyrics and singing them .

2. He might use auto-tune while recording , but he sounds quite the same live . Mark here , I didn’t say he sounds good or bad as I am a neutral spectator here .

3. He doesn’t lip sync in all the live videos that I have seen of his in youtube . He uses a very ‘able’ music band which do justice to his music .

4. He is a good dancer (Yes I know a thing or two about dancing too ) , and he uses it to his advantage while performing . Its one thing to stand on stage and sing a song , its another to dance to it , and dance god damn well .

5. He is rich enough to be involved in a host of controversies and famous enough to have a credible controversial opinion about everything , but he does neither . I can hardly remember reading about any controversies that he has been involved in .

6. He has a very strong fan base and he didn’t build that by belting out horse-shit . More than a million people can not be demented , and he is serving them with something that they like , and he is doing it well .

7. I do not believe in the notion that long hair , belting out long guitar solos , confusing obtrusive time signatures , experiments with pig-farts are the only gods of music . Music always had its sense of discrimination with it since time unknown , with genres , sub-genres , each fighting for its place . Justin Beiber has no such genre or sub-genre . Its just plain R n B and people who like R n B think it is good .

8. And the most important fact is he accepts that people think he would be a fallen star once he hits puberty , and that he is working hard to prove them all wrong . Respect.

Now for the “I-Hate-Justin-Beiber” group:

1. He is 14 and he sings way better than most of those who hate him . And what is with ” he sings like a girl”  bull-shit  . Really ?. And all of you used to sound like Brad Pitt or sing like Bruce Dickinson at the age of 14 , right? . Cut some slack .

2. And what would you rather prefer your kids to listen to : Sex , Deaths , Drugs , Booty , Incest , Molestation or a kid singing about puppy mushy love ? . Well I don’t know about you , but I would go with the second one every single day .

3. Are you people jealous of how rich and famous he is at his age when you people used to clean tables in pizza-stalls or mow lawns , as I think you are . You all are . Every single youtube video , even though it might be about Einstein’s relativity theory , has someone ranting about how horrible Justin Beiber’s music is . There is a fine line between use of  freedom of speech and abuse of it , and unfortunately that line has been crossed by quite a few individuals .

4. Are you trying to sound cool by dishing out at him ? Wasn’t music all about world peace , chicken soup for your soul thing , where its was upto you how spicy you wanted to soup to be ? . Somewhere down the line music has taken up the mantle that can be used to discriminate a person . But why ? . Music should be the only way in which one should ” Live and Let live” .

5. So you don’t like Justin Beiber . I get that . Why do you have to  PMS over every single youtube video or any other music link . Did he ever come to your home , sit on your couch , asked your mom to make a cup of coffee and then offered an one hour lecture of why you should listen to him , did he ? . Do tele-marketers call up your cell-phone and ask you if you want to buy Justin Beiber cds’ . No right ? If no one has ever forced you to listen to him , then why do you care , if he is good or bad . Its all about the Attention Deficit Disorder isn’t it ? .

Its a shame . Its very similar to the treatment the twilight cast gets , but in an even worse scale . Twilight movie sucked , (yes I am not being diplomatic here) , but the actors and actress do have some life . They have worked hard to achieve whatever they have had . But the dishing out to them is like a Satsang Bhajan compared to the death metal that Beiber faces every single day . But he moves on . I hope he matures more , which would reflect through his music and starts composing his own music . I hope he proves all his critics wrong . But unfortunately he doesn’t have critics . He just has a pack of wolves hungry for some attention prying over the success that he has got . I hope he slashes them all . He hasn’t found a fan in me , but his hate-group have duly found an apathetic , indifferent middle finger from me .

A Gory Orissa

Being in my hometown since last 1 month , I have been  subjected to both Oriya(mother tongue) and English newspapers everyday , and last Sunday, both of them threw light on two states  , both on the extreme east and west of Indian map , but that is  not where the extremities cease  , unfortunately . Last week marked the “Vibrant Gujarat” meet , where 22 MoU’s were signed , foundations were laid for many a future deals , small-scale and large-scale . Gujarat in the last few months has revolutionized the word “Dhanda”  , and has religiously stuck to it , thus driving its GDP into double digits only below than China , leaving India’s GDP at staggering depths of a single digit . But this is where the English paper didn’t stop , as the accolades were heaped on as to how  Gujarat has been  able to spend crores of money on building spanking smooth roads , connecting all the villages , also with power and water . And then I picked up my Oriya news paper , with the head-lines reading something like this : “A nephew murdered his aunt , as he was suspicious that she was a ‘dahani’ ” . Now allow me to translate the story , in detail .

Dahani (defn.): A woman , possessed by a ghost, who goes out of her house at dawn to eat human excreta , while standing on her hands .   A dahani in a family , is a harbinger of unusual deaths in the family , and also results in property damage .

How do I know all this ? . Lets just say that superstition runs deep in our blood . And when things like this are published in the front page of a reputed Oriya newspaper , there has to be some valid substance behind such superstitions . Right ?  Not . The only validity  that I can fathom is that the Oriya news-media have gone absolutely bonkers , and even though they have all the rights to report a murder , they need to also be responsible to report it in a way that would weed out  such activities . Oh well , let me describe the activity that was described by the newspaper , without taking any particular names .

The news article read : ” A 55 year old female was brutally murdered by his 20- odd nephew . The nephew had severed her neck , as apparently that is the only way to kill the wretched the creature for all good . The nephew was suspicious about his aunt’s activities as she used to meander from her house at unearthly hours . But the accusations don’t stop there . The nephew had lost his only son a year back to a disease , and now his newly-born infant was succumbing to a similar fate . Thus he caught her red-handed ( eating shit ) and then beheaded her . After that , he clutched her head and walked straight to the police station , though his victory march was cut short as he was taken in by some pro-active police who mistook him for a naxal (Thus pro-active) . “

Though I have a soft corner for exaggeration , there isn’t a single word that I have punched in the above mentioned paragraph . Thus I have a very simple question to ask , Why to post the news in such manner , that throws light that suspicions have a solid foundation in our state ? In my opinion , the news should have been reported more as a cold brutal murder , motivated by the death of his son coupled with all the superstitions that an illiterate villager can muster up in his head .

Unfortunately ,(incredibly too) , this is not the first time that a news related to ghosts has been spotted on the front page by me . I have read about various such articles pointing at untoward activities that can only be labelled under ” Gods-must-have-gone-crazy” label .  To point out a few :

1. This broke out when I was in school . People were getting calls from an unknown 11 digit no . It seemed that it was a girl who was calling up people , and if anyone listened to her for more than a minute , he ended up dead . The news went on to such details like the girl could describe what clothes you presently are in and also past details about your life . She could call you up even though your phone was switched off . Thus the way only way of escaping it was to take the sim out of the phone , as suggested by various news-papers . Those were incredibly scary nights for me , as I not only dig such stuff , I unfortunately used to believe in them . In such paranoia , shouldn’t the news be more responsible in reporting it in a way that would decrease the tension rather than giving the ghost a super-hero status ? . Never happened .

2.Another incident that I would like to bring forward , is the one involving a govt. office in which the typing machine was typing on its own somewhere around midnight .  ( Yes midnight , touche isn’t it ? ) .

3. Ah last but not the least would be the innumerable stories that I hear when I travel to my village, from my relatives there . The stories and deaths just don’t seem to end . And it would be utterly disgraceful to even think that a single story was ever repeated .

Its as if , Gujrat has turned into a safe heaven for entrepreneurs and Orissa for ghosts . I am not asking newspapers to hide the truth , but to stroke it . We don’t want a Barkha-gate in everything now , do we ? . But , media-juggernauts of this country have a lot of power as they are feeding to a very fickle mass , and any news such as this could be inferred in many ways more suited to the person and less to the society as a whole .

The reasons why the news should have been reported in a more authentic manner are mentioned below :

1. Orissa has a poor literacy rate .  And literacy doesn’t mean teaching a person how to read and write ENGLISH . It means just being able to sign your name in your mother-tongue . And it is incredibly low here (I shall write post about it accounting for the reasons as to why it is low  ) . And the few learned folk , don’t get up to Times of India and Black coffee every day . Their only sources of news is tv or oriya newspapers .

2. The residents of remote villages already have a lot of ways of killing themselves ( Aids , Cancer , Bad Hygiene , floods , drought and not to forget , Sharad Pawar’s favourite , Suicide ) . Fanning their suspicions with such outrageous news on the front page , would only lead to more such heinous incidents .

3.No one in a Orissa village gives a rat’s arse about how vibrant Gujrat is , or how to have a healthy urban  life-style with fancy diets so as to fit into even more fancier clothes . They are concerned with news such as the one reported above , as it is there only source of entertainment . Infotainment , as they call it , turns ugly when strictly gulped down .

4. As I had mentioned above , the villages of Orissa teems with stories such as this . And reporting it , isn’t “showing bare truth ” here . No its not . Facts can be re-arranged in a way that could describe the incident and also give a detail description as to why it is  improper conduct , as the last time I checked , beheading someone , no matter how much shit she ate , was and will always be an act of brutality .

Orissa is already living on the extreme fringes of both financial and cultural extinction , and such unsavoury articles are doing no good to it . Oh but it might result in more severed heads of shit -eating middle aged women .

Why India should be SCARED about Salman Taseer’s brutal murder ?

Every nook and corner , every reason of conscience , every straw of blame has already been covered and exhausted with, by the few Pakistani individuals who have condemned the death of Salman Taseer . Few have even gone forward and chastised the use of the word Martyr , so as not to fuel the word for every murder that happens under the roof-top of Pakistani reformists trying to make a change . World renowned journalists have also gone forward and stated that Pakistan has lunged beyond tripping point and there might be no turning back from here . But where does India stand in all this mayhem across our neighbourhood . Should we be bothered ? Yes . Should we be really scared ? YES .

Every assassination that has taken place in Pakistan , have somehow been thrown in the cauldrons of conspiracy theories ,  un-educated extremists showing their vengeance , shrewed politicians flexing their muscles , killing each other for the cup of glory and power . But saying this assassination is no different is  an absolute buffoonery of the upper echelons of our brains . Again , how the assassination is different from the others that have happened have already been discussed at length . Summarizing them , this assassination was done by an individual who was his own body guard , incited by the orthodox Muslim extremists who condemn anyone under the Blasphemy law , the law which in itself is blasphemous to humanity . This does state that India can very much forget about any sane support from the ones in power in Pakistan , as , if anyone tries to do so , he or she can be easily booked under the Blasphemous law  , and we all know how secured the body guards are in Pakistan . This is why India should be bothered . But , the trepidation doesn’t stop there . If India is bothered about the assassination , they should be scared by now looking at the support Qadri got after he committed the crime  .

Pakistan is no more a failed state , with un-educated hardened Muslim fanatics with their own versions of Quran . It is very much a successful state in its own right and perception . As proved ,  very evidently by the educated youth of Pakistan , people who have jobs , engineers , lawyers , doctors  giving Qadri an iconic status for a murder which cannot be explained in any other way than it being just a heinous crime . The debate here is not how paradoxical the Blasphemy law is , and that each one of the Pakistani citizen over-ride the law every single day , sub-consciously or being completely aware of it . It is about India , trying to find out an unbiased , un-prejudiced ear to have some constructive talk with . Sadly , this incident has stamped on any hope of finding one .

Pakistan is a nuke nation, with an arsenal to be feared with . Though I have to recite the good old Spiderman cliche here ,” With power comes responsibility ” , but it neither holds good nor has it even been hatched to grow old in Pakistan . How can India be stable and sit silently when its neighbouring nation is as well-equipped as being irresponsible . The assassination underlines a statement which should also be converted to Bold and Italicized , that anyone and everyone in Pakistan can bend the meaning of Quran , and turn any individual into an assassin . I might be blamed by the ones who are raising their voices against this brutal murder , but exactly how many of you are there ? And when shit falls , how easily can you people be eradicated . No law-maker in Pakistan is giving a rat’s arse about the killing . Would anyone even be bothered if one day you find yourself in a pool of blood ? How many of you are getting hate calls/mails from  educated people ? . Sadly , the answers to all these questions affirms the fact that Pakistan is a very successful state when you read the Quran the way their fanatics read it . It has got the arsenal , it has got the loonies , and now it has got the support for the loonies too , now how can it be  a failed state ?

Every time tension used to heat up between India and Pakistan , somehow we all knew that it will fizzle out with International pressure and the intervention of the “developed ” countries . But are the countries that developed that they can change the outlook of the whole nation ?  No its not the Inception movie , and no, its Obama not Leonardo Di Caprio . So what does India have  on  its platter now , apart from the raging civil war in every state , the fledging inflation , the baffling scams , and both China and Bangladesh trying to infiltrate us on their own whims , we also have a nation now that has alas cut loose from any sense of humanity and can no longer be controlled by any developed country .

Yes there are people who are sane , who haven’t yet got their brains in their arses , but can a country which is already fighting pseudo war with your so called jihadis have a peace talk with you ? . How exactly can you make a difference and how many politicians are out there who can actually stand up and say that this is wrong and that is right , and not fear that the next second there would be a bullet dislodged into their socket by the ones who were supposed to safe-guard them from the occurrence of that very incident ? . The questions never meant more rhetoric as they are now , as  Pakistan is “successfully ”  en route for a mass genocide  . And more than Pakistan , India should be concerned , oh wait , scared , because when Pakistan is going down , India will . We wont be injured , we will go down .

This murder should act as a wake-up call , as if others that have happened till now haven’t already screamed their lungs out to the world public , that Pakistan is a highly educated , and well equipped Sudan , and it has to become the utmost priority of every other developing and developed country to act in the best interests of humanity and pull out this country from the dungeons that it has fallen into . There are a lot of incredibly good , harmless  people out there , smart brains that can make a difference to this world , that are actually concerned the way Pakistan is shaping up now , but sadly they are being  out-numbered , out-classed and also the most dreaded ,  out-lawed , which would give a license-to-kill to another Qadri to gun them down . It is unfortunate to conclude that Pakistan is a nation racing against time to devour itself , and India might just be its main-course in this buffet called Jihad .

New year’s eve . A deriding sieve .

This post is neither a scathing attack on any sort of socializing , nor is it a venting of a personal vendetta for not going to any “party” on new year’s eve . Its just a glaring explanation of what could have been right , what should have been done , what might have been possible but what never is . Its my opinion and I would try to be as unbiased as I can be , but freedom of speech is always accountable to freedom of  it being perceived .

Today is 31st . You wake up and hit the alarm snooze as the sound cuts across your dreams , and snug into your cushiony bed , that flowery bed-sheet , and those emulsion-ed walls. He gets up  to the harrowing barks of a few stray dogs fighting over scraps that one of them has found from a trash-dump . He scratches his head , filled with lice , not lies , wipes off the thick dew that have settled over his face ,and looks at the dogs , thinking about the sound that woke him up . The sound of his stomach groaning with hunger . The realization beckoning . He is starving . So are the dogs . He falls back on the pavement and looks into the misty morning and smirks . Just another day .

But new year’s eve for You . You open your eyes again and stare at that blank ceiling . You reach out to your cell phone and post a tweet saying ” Hello tweeple . One helluva’ party is awaiting me tonight . Lets rock it” . You think of all the things you shopped yesterday as a preparation for tonight’s party . Shiny shoes . A suit . Casual jeans . Whatever the party demands .  You think of the diet that you have been on , and the increased frequency of visits to gyms in the past one week to make yourself that tad more presentable at the party . You think of all the parties that you have been invited to . So many options . So difficult to choose . Even he has options . From being a cobbler or a rag picker for the day . But not so difficult to choose . The weather is good . So cobbler for the day . Rag picker tomorrow .

You are off your bed now . Smiling at the day ahead . He is off the pavement as the municipality garbage truck passes by , honking and smiling back at the man they have been seeing for the past 3 years . Not much has changed in him . He was lean and thin . He is leaner and thinner . His past was murky with the failure of his life . Your future would be murky with the debauchery  that awaits  you tonight .  You are excited . So is he. Hunger does excite a lot of people , if excite is the word , and hunger is what You have . Your hunger might be on the lines of glory , flesh , “scoring” , but nonetheless , hunger it is .

You have a brush in your hand as you stare at the mirror , making a wide range of expressions , and wondering which one would be the best to belch out to cherry-top your swagger , to make you that perfect “eye-raising, jaw-dropping ”  entity of the party . He looks at the shillings that he had mustered yesterday , wondering if he should spend it on usage of a public toilet for a bath . The morning cold makes him shudder , as he thinks of the savings that he has done till now to buy himself a rug . Bath can stay for sometime . Your tweeter status says ” People should make deo’s which are warm . Poured half a bottle and shivering”.

“Parata + Toast + Sabji + Juice = #win ” .

“A bread loaf . Please “

“Off to hang out with some friends “

” Hello sir . Polishing would be 10 bucks . Extra shine would be 5 bucks more “

“Having an awesome time with my friends at Pizza Hut. “

” I am sorry , I did polish it properly . I am extremely sorry sir . I will do it again . No I wont charge anything extra “

“Spicy Chicken owns . Now going to check out this movie called …. “

“This has not been a great day . Hardly any customers .  I guess I have to miss my lunch if I have to harbour any thoughts of dinner “

“….. is so hot . Movie though is a bit crappy . Hindi movie cant expect much “

” How harsh can this weather get . Cold kills my sleep . Heat , my customers . Life , can’t expect much “

“Interruption . 120 bucks for pop corn is just robbing people in day-light “

“20 bucks . No, lunch not possible . *coughs* . I should get myself treated for this “

“@abcd get your throat clear biatch . Tonight is going to be one crazy ass-banging experience “

“Oh this movie poster looks so good . Its been years since I saw any movie . The malls have become bigger . Life has become bigger . Its not waining of my sight , but the ever-expanding world , where I have been cornered . I have not fighting for survival anymore , rather , fighting for an integrity , before my survival runs out of luck and time . “

“@abcd Don’t give the psychology babble . Get off your f****** bed . You will be all right “

 

He is looking at those dogs again .” Someone fed them . They don’t have to beg . Food comes naturally to them . Humanity can be such a deriding sieve . It ignores those beseeching for its shelter , it shelters though ignoring it . I am a blasphemer of development . Orphan of a dead culture . “

“Hello “

“I can’t take my life . I don’t have that much courage . But this misery has to end . *coughs* . I have to end “

“Hello . I have been standing here for such a long time “

“Sorry Sahabji . How can I help you ? “

“Just polish both my boots . With extra shine “

” Ah no problem Sahabji . Consider it done “

“Getting my boots shined up for tonight . I am going to *kick* some arse , literally #Awesome”

“What amazing boots You have . Must be getting ready for some occasion tonight “

“yeah it is the new years’ eve . Lot of parties “

“I don’t even remember the dates . Its going to be 6 years since I have been on streets . 6 years of struggle and I am still at square one “

“You left a small square at the back “

“Sorry sahabji . Will do it again ” .” Old age is getting to me . But I am not old . Are the vagaries of nature so immune to the one shoving his leg on my face and so permeable for me ?”

“Old hags should be taken off the  streets . They are the bane in our development #retrospect”

“*coughs * Ok sabji . Done . “

“I hope I didn’t catch a cold #scared”

“

“70 bucks . Not a bad day for the start I had had .”

A police jeep passes by , asking him to be off the street as it is the New Year’s eve and that the streets would be over crowded .

“Am I not one among the crowd ? How does being poor and homeless make me any different from the people around me ? “

“All set for the party . After a lot of discussion its going to be ….. tonight . #newyear’seve”

Ah so many well dressed people . Tonight is very exciting considering how much they would waste and flounder . Roads filled with bottles , bags , papers and various other garbage . Wasted food . Wasted resources . But thats what keeps me alive . Thats what keeps the dog alive . Maybe, its the law of God , to take everything away from you and give it to someone else , and then prick them with the pin of affluence and ridicule to keep it trickling for low-lives like me . Maybe , existence does strike a balance after all . A thin wall that keeps the homeless man from being hopeless . Ah , they already have started wasting .

“In the party now . So bloody awesome . The hotness is reaching fever pitch “

“Oh ! Its getting colder by every minute . *coughs* . But I need to carry on . Need to pick up as many rags as I can today to get me enough for a square meal and also a doctor check up . And who knows a bath too . This night is getting more exciting every minute . Hope does have a tone to its bells . Been deaf for a long time . Maybe it was always chiming , but the sound used to fade away in the miseries of my existence . Not anymore . “

“6th shot down . Boy I am high . Just danced with one hot hAWt chick . Hopefully will get her number by tonight #newyear’seve”

“Ah more empty bottles . Oh there is a bottle with some alcohol in it . That would keep me warm . This is hard . “

“4th pitcher down . HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS . Best effing new years party ever “

“Ah the crackers . Sky is lightening up , and coming to life . Maybe its midnight now . A new year . Don’t know what that has in store for me . Maybe its just not another day . Its an anti-climax of an Apocalypse . Or I am thinking over my head ? . Dreaming isn’t bad . The crackers have broken the deaf shackles that had imprisoned me . But I can’t fly . I cant walk either . I am at the beginning of a man’s social evolution . I have to crawl . A fresh beginning , for someday I will Walk . “

“Boy I cant walk . I am so trippy . Now have to drive back home . Got her number though #EPICWIN”

“Oh its getting even more cold . But I cant stop . Not tonight . It has to be the end of all my miseries . This new found jest , was I missing this all of my life ? . I was walking on the tripping point , of void and existence , and today something has nudged me towards existence . That something might not be there tomorrow . Thus I have to cover enough ground tonight . My hazy dream is getting less murkier , with every passing minute , with every bursting cracker “

“Oh my sight is getting so murky . 2 more kilometers away from home . I can make it . Feel like puking though “

” Ah one more bottle . Hey , I am not high . Now don’t you roll over and make me go behind you . You are going to be my bath tomorrow . Don’t deprive me of it now “

 

“I can’t see anything . Oh no .. ” … *crash* …

*coughs * *coughs blood * . He looks up at the sky , lying on the blood spattered floor  . The sky is not bright anymore . The crackers had run their course . Silence was falling over .

” I am so sorry . Shit! ,I am so  sorry . I didn’t see you coming . This is my fault . You hang in there . I will take you to hospital ”  And You lift him .

“You leave me here . I am done with my life . I had quit long back . Today it quit on me . If you take me to hospital , lot of questions would be raised as to how did all this happen to me and you will be caught into a terrible fiasco . You are young . You got your life ahead . I am a  homeless guy . I have no family nor friends . You have it all . You can’t mess it up just so to save my life , as you can’t . I had been crushed over long back , and what happened today is nothing more than the last rites I deserved . “

“No . I cant leave you like this . “

” No you can’t . People will know that an accident happened here . There is this municipality dump near-by where the truck comes and takes away the trash and people wont really notice me in it .  And for the blood stains , my bag is filled with half empty alcohol bottles . You know what to do “

“This is insane . I am taking you to hospital . “

“For what ? I am sure I would die before I reach there . Then you will be caught and would lose everything , everything that you could have achieved , everything that has been kept under your feet for you to walk over it “

” But ..”

” …”

He put him down on the ground and checked his pulse . It was a dead beat . Tears didn’t come as fear gripped him . He looked around to see if anyone saw him doing this heinous act . Then he lifted the guy again ,took him to the municipality dump and left him there , spreading his rags all over him . Then he got back , poured all the left over alcohol over the blood-stained road , as it cleansed almost all the stains away . Ironic . It can kill , and also let you get away with it .

The municipality truck passed by today . The guys are more cheerful , though they cant find the homeless guy anywhere . First time in 3 years that they didn’t find that cheerful guy lying on the street . Maybe he has got a shelter now . Maybe New year has bought him the much needed solace and warmth that he never had till now . The truck moved on , honking at the stray dogs who were again gnawing at some scrap , picking up the trash .

 

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